Surviving Week 1

I know what some of you must be thinking.  How hard can it be to sit around at home for a week?  For those of you, I say, pretty hard.  I’m not one to sit idly by with nothing to do.  That’s not to say that when I was working, doing nothing on a Sunday was ideal.

 My week consisted of looking for jobs on multiple websites, checking my email incessantly, making sure my cell phone was strategically placed in an area I had service at all times, feverishly awaiting the arrival of the mailman for any sort of news and of course, learning the language of the two year old.

I think I’ve realized the worst part of this whole thing is not hearing back.  I can somewhat deal with rejection, but only if I know I’m being rejected.  Where are the days of, “Thank you for applying BUT …” I mean, tell me anything: under qualified, over qualified, stupid to have applied, HAHA, anything.  Even something that says, “We filled the position, but obviously not with you.”

It’s not all doom and gloom though.  Plenty of silver linings to be had this last week as well:

My house has never been cleaner.

I don’t think my family has had this many home cooked meals, since ever.

I may start my couponing again, since I can now devote the 40 hours per week necessary to do it.

I’ve gone through every single piece of clothing I own and purged – mainly clothes that don’t fit thanks to weight loss.

I’ve spent every minute possible with my two (almost three) year old son – and I’ve realized a few things about him:

He eats a lot.  All the time.

I may have grossly underpaid my mother when she watched him.

He’s smart.

And funny.

And mischievous.

And he’s pushing boundaries, just to see what he can get away with.

He also hugs and kisses me all the time, telling me he’s “mommy’s boy.” Which melts my heart and at times is exactly what I need to hear.

I’ve also started making a list of things I need/want to do and I am excited I might have time to do them.  Things that aren’t necessarily exciting and I couldn’t be more ecstatic about it.  Sewing, trying new recipes, organizing my closets/cupboards, and dare I say it, potty training the boy!

Day 1

Day 1

Unemployment sucks.

This is the first time in 10 years that I don’t have a job.  Just another victim of a shitty economy and an employer who financially mismanaged funds for years. 

Layoffs were on the lips of many at work for months.  I knew there was a possibility I could be let go; after all, I was the last hire.  I, like many, felt that other options could be taken and that layoffs would be a last resort.  As my employer dragged its feet in doing anything to save money or raise revenues, layoffs became a reality.  My possibility of being let go went from 0 to 60 with 3 votes.  3 people, who viewed me as a name, number, as a cost savings measure. They decided that I wasn’t needed and that my livelihood was over. I doubt highly that any of them actually knew what I did and the sad part is, I don’t think they cared.  I was a damn good employee and did my job well.  That didn’t matter. 

I remember back when my mother had once told me: “Everyone is expendable and everyone is replaceable.”   Not that it makes it any easier, but she’s right.  I wanted to call my boss numerous times today to remind him of meetings or things that needed to be done, but just as they let me go, I have to let go too.

So, here I am.  At home.  Applying for jobs in an economy where no one is hiring.  Waiting.

My only comfort?  My boy.  My boy who keeps me busy, makes me laugh and gives me hugs and kisses all the time, like he knows I need them.

Now more than ever, I think I will use this blog, to have a voice, to interact with others (sort of) and free my thoughts.

When I was made aware of my layoff, I think stress, helped me lose another 5 pounds.  Not exactly healthy, but I have finally reached the weight it says on my driver’s license and I can wear clothes 3 sizes smaller than January of this year.  I think total weight lost this year has reached 27 pounds.

One of two things will happen with all of this time off: I’m going to be super fit or gain 100 pounds.  I’m hoping for the first.  However, if I continue like I did this morning (eating pizza rolls, drinking a soda and watching a lifetime movie at 10 AM), I could be in serious trouble!

 

I'm going to try not to be so emo and end with saying, a door was slammed in my face, but it opened a window and I'm just waiting for the sunlight to pour in.

Until next time!