Surviving Week 1

I know what some of you must be thinking.  How hard can it be to sit around at home for a week?  For those of you, I say, pretty hard.  I’m not one to sit idly by with nothing to do.  That’s not to say that when I was working, doing nothing on a Sunday was ideal.

 My week consisted of looking for jobs on multiple websites, checking my email incessantly, making sure my cell phone was strategically placed in an area I had service at all times, feverishly awaiting the arrival of the mailman for any sort of news and of course, learning the language of the two year old.

I think I’ve realized the worst part of this whole thing is not hearing back.  I can somewhat deal with rejection, but only if I know I’m being rejected.  Where are the days of, “Thank you for applying BUT …” I mean, tell me anything: under qualified, over qualified, stupid to have applied, HAHA, anything.  Even something that says, “We filled the position, but obviously not with you.”

It’s not all doom and gloom though.  Plenty of silver linings to be had this last week as well:

My house has never been cleaner.

I don’t think my family has had this many home cooked meals, since ever.

I may start my couponing again, since I can now devote the 40 hours per week necessary to do it.

I’ve gone through every single piece of clothing I own and purged – mainly clothes that don’t fit thanks to weight loss.

I’ve spent every minute possible with my two (almost three) year old son – and I’ve realized a few things about him:

He eats a lot.  All the time.

I may have grossly underpaid my mother when she watched him.

He’s smart.

And funny.

And mischievous.

And he’s pushing boundaries, just to see what he can get away with.

He also hugs and kisses me all the time, telling me he’s “mommy’s boy.” Which melts my heart and at times is exactly what I need to hear.

I’ve also started making a list of things I need/want to do and I am excited I might have time to do them.  Things that aren’t necessarily exciting and I couldn’t be more ecstatic about it.  Sewing, trying new recipes, organizing my closets/cupboards, and dare I say it, potty training the boy!

Day 1

Day 1

Unemployment sucks.

This is the first time in 10 years that I don’t have a job.  Just another victim of a shitty economy and an employer who financially mismanaged funds for years. 

Layoffs were on the lips of many at work for months.  I knew there was a possibility I could be let go; after all, I was the last hire.  I, like many, felt that other options could be taken and that layoffs would be a last resort.  As my employer dragged its feet in doing anything to save money or raise revenues, layoffs became a reality.  My possibility of being let go went from 0 to 60 with 3 votes.  3 people, who viewed me as a name, number, as a cost savings measure. They decided that I wasn’t needed and that my livelihood was over. I doubt highly that any of them actually knew what I did and the sad part is, I don’t think they cared.  I was a damn good employee and did my job well.  That didn’t matter. 

I remember back when my mother had once told me: “Everyone is expendable and everyone is replaceable.”   Not that it makes it any easier, but she’s right.  I wanted to call my boss numerous times today to remind him of meetings or things that needed to be done, but just as they let me go, I have to let go too.

So, here I am.  At home.  Applying for jobs in an economy where no one is hiring.  Waiting.

My only comfort?  My boy.  My boy who keeps me busy, makes me laugh and gives me hugs and kisses all the time, like he knows I need them.

Now more than ever, I think I will use this blog, to have a voice, to interact with others (sort of) and free my thoughts.

When I was made aware of my layoff, I think stress, helped me lose another 5 pounds.  Not exactly healthy, but I have finally reached the weight it says on my driver’s license and I can wear clothes 3 sizes smaller than January of this year.  I think total weight lost this year has reached 27 pounds.

One of two things will happen with all of this time off: I’m going to be super fit or gain 100 pounds.  I’m hoping for the first.  However, if I continue like I did this morning (eating pizza rolls, drinking a soda and watching a lifetime movie at 10 AM), I could be in serious trouble!

 

I'm going to try not to be so emo and end with saying, a door was slammed in my face, but it opened a window and I'm just waiting for the sunlight to pour in.

Until next time!

Sabotage

Sabotage.

There's no better word for it.

A few days ago, I made the post, proclaiming that I had a goal and a goal date and what have I done since?

Absolutely nothing.

No exercise.

Bad choices.

Like having the second burrito, the Sam's Club pizza slice (and the JUMBO cherry coke the combo came with) and the alcohol, oh the alcohol.

So here I am, holding myself accountable. 

It seems that every time I declare I will exercise or eat better or be healthier, I totally sabotage that plan.  Now that I've gotten the sabotage out of the way, it's time to make better choices and get back on track.

Started the day with an english muffin and have a full day of cleaning ahead. 

That should burn a few calories.

The Countdown Begins

I know, I know.  It's been a minute since I've updated this thing.  Since November 2011 to be exact.  It seems so long ago.  So much has happened and yet so much remains the same.

Updates:

My darling Kaitlyn is now a high school student.  It feels as if I blinked and she went from 3 to 13 in 2 seconds.  She's sassy and knows everything.

Owen will be 3 in October.  It feels as if he was just born yesterday.

I'm obsessed with reality tv, still.  I just can't help it.  Give me a Real Housewives of Anywhere and I'm all over it.

Work is keeping me busy.  Sometimes too busy.

My favorite moments are Sunday mornings when everyone somehow ends up in our bed.  The kids fight over who gets to lay next to me.  Owen usually wins.

I think I'm going to start wearing make-up.  Be more girly or something.

I've lost over 20 pounds since January 1.  Thanks mostly to diet changes.  Thanks mostly to making dinners and taking lunches and just making overall better food choices.  I stepped on the scale today and saw numbers I hadn't seen in a couple of years, at least.

This last update leads to the title of this blog post.  I am starting a countdown for health.  I saw on Pinterest (by the way, totally obsessed with Pinterest) something that said, "You diet to look good with your clothes on, but you exercise to look good with your clothes off."  So, this is where I get in gear and look fantastic naked.  Way too much info for some of you, I know and I apologize.  The end date for my transformation?  My 30th birthday.  As of today, thats 136 days away.

I plan to use this blog to document my transformation along the way.  I'm not quite comfortable posting things like size, weight or measurements, but I can keep myself accountable.

So a warning, quite a few posts between now and 136 days from now, will be mostly dedicated to food, diet, exercise, etc.  It'll be boring and not exciting in any way, but at least I warned you.

Here's to a healthier, wonderful transformation!