Julie

This weekend, we gathered with family and friends to celebrate the life of Julie Rolak. There were tears, stories, and memories shared. It was sad and beautiful, all at the same time. Of everything shared, one thing was evident: Julie was a woman defined by her character and not her circumstance. I don’t know if it’s because I didn't want to get emotional, but I didn't share the Julie I knew.

For me, Julie was more than my husband’s aunt. Through the years, I looked forward to emails, fb messages, words with friends chats (man, did she kick my butt at words with friends!) and summers at the farm. I met her in the summer of 2003, and the following summer, during our visit, I was going through a lot of personal drama. Julie single-handedly kept me sane. She listened to anything and everything, and gave me very thoughtful advice. But that was Julie. She was a great listener, she genuinely cared about what you were going through, and gave the best advice. We shared a love of food and could talk about anything and everything. My favorite memories of Julie are of our talks on the back porch; the guys would be outside solving the world’s problems, the kids watching tv, and I would be folding laundry and Julie would come in and we would talk. Talk long after the clothes were folded.

 Julie was my friend.

Although I am relieved she is no longer in pain, I am selfishly sad. Sad because my confidant is no longer here to give me advice. Sad because she never knew just how much she meant to me. I am a better person for having known Julie. She will be immensely missed.

Julie and Owen

Hug, kiss, and tell the people you love, that you love them, as often as you can. 

Ellen Show

Here's that story that was saved for another day.

It seems that since I've been in the audience at the Ellen Show during 12 days of giveaways, anyone I tell assumes I know some trick or someone that works there to get it. Truth is, I know neither. My friend Sylvia and I (we tend to go together to Ellen) have wondered how to get in on the 12 days audience for years. That and VIP. I'm sure that maybe there are some secret ways of getting in, but based on our story and that of many people at the taping that day (yes, we did ask) - it all seems sort of random.

One lady won a raffle in the Riff Raff Room in October. One lady was in the audience when they gave the whole audience tickets in September. Did they know beforehand that it was even a possibility to get on a 12 days show based on attending a taping a few months earlier? According to them, no.

Here's our story:

Sylvia called, or probably texted, that she had Ellen standby tickets (I think in February) and if I wanted to go. I said sure, I love Ellen. Plus, I hadn't seen a taping since 2008! Being unemployed does give you some free time, plus Owen wasn't in school yet. It was super simple to drop him off with my mom and enjoy an adult afternoon. Now, let's talk standby tickets. Guaranteed tickets get you into the audience. Now if people don't show for whatever reason, then there's room for standby ticket holders to get into the audience. If you don't get in, you get to watch the fun in the Riff Raff Room (waiting area outside of the studio), but you are guaranteed a date to come back, and sit in the audience.

Well, we stayed in standby mode. Everyone showed. It was a good show too. They gave away $250 from H&R Block. We were bummed we couldn't make it in. Anyway, the lady walks around with calendars of open days to attend. With taxes on the brain, we thought it would be great to come back on Tax Day, April 15. Boom, done.

Here's April 15. We're there, ready to have a great time. They're about to start walking people across the street and a woman from the Ellen Show walks up to us and asks if we're local. We say yes. She asks the group of 4 next to us as well. They said yes. She asks if she can talk to us away from the crowd. I assumed they were going to play a game or something and needed volunteers. That wasn't the case. She said that they were over capacity and that the Fire Marshal wouldn't let that many people in. She asked if we'd be open to coming back to another taping. We all kind of looked at each other and then she continued, that the day we'd be guaranteed to come back was during one of Ellen's 12 days of giveaway shows. Sylvia and I looked at each other and screamed yes via ESP, but calmly told this woman, yes, yes we would. She secured contact info, gave us a card and told us we would hear from her in October.

Sylvia and I were elated. We went to Don Cuco's to celebrate! If you go, you must really try the coconut margarita, it's delicious.

So, then we waited. And waited.

And like the saying goes, the rest is history.

So as you read, a series of choices (subconscious) lead us to 12 days. Deciding to go as standby in February, picking Tax Day to return, sitting where we were seated, being obviously identifiable as valley girls. No gimmicks, no tricks, not knowing someone. Just the luck of the draw. Here's to securing tickets next season and maybe having some luck again!

Be Kind Always

My friend Sylvia and I had the amazing privilege of being on the Ellen Show yesterday, day 10, of her 12 days of giveaways. Our journey to receiving that privilege is a somewhat long and funny-ish story, which will be saved for another day.

So, at the Ellen Show, there’s a little bit of waiting that’s filled with music and dancing. It requires you to get comfortable with those sitting around you: the audience guy tells you to introduce yourself to your neighbor, give hugs, etc. Even as they film, they have 1-2 minute breaks, where they hold dance contests, one contest being that your whole row has to do the same dance move, so you really have fun with everyone around you.

At our taping, we had a great time. A fun guest (Leah Remini), lots of laughs, oh, and Ellen gave us a bunch of AMAZING stuff. We were told that after filming the end, they were going to film another segment; they were filming out of order. So, after the excitement of the last gift, Ellen calls up Jacqui Saldana. No one had any clue why she was being called up and I was left in tears after hearing her story. See her on the show here: http://www.ellentv.com/videos/0-oq7i6mv7/

Jacqui was sitting in my row. I was three seats away from her. We said hello, introduced ourselves, laughed, danced, and had a good time. From outside appearances you wouldn’t know the struggle she was facing internally. It reminded of one of those quotes you see everywhere on the internet (which also prompted the title of this blog): “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” 

After the show, Ellen stayed and spoke to the audience. She talked of inspiration, and using your platforms.  Her speech, although brief was inspirational. When I came home, I immediately went to Jacqui’s blog, www.babyboybakery.com, and immersed myself in it. It is beautifully tragic and no words I have can fully express the power it possesses. Please, go read it. I think I hugged my kids a little more yesterday and today, and hopefully tomorrow, until forever.

So, why am I writing about this? It’s not to jump on coattails or anything, since only about 10-20 people read this blog. I’m writing it for me, and for you. We’re all so busy that sometimes we forget to stop and enjoy our kids, our lives, and our good fortune. I’m also writing this because I was inspired. Inspired to use the one platform I have, to maybe brighten someone’s day, even if it’s just my own.

Hopefully this is the start of more regular postings from this blog.

Until next time.

Xoxo,

Inez

Owenisms 2014

So, we've been here before.

I apologize for not being around, blog a couple of times and go away again.

Since I'm on a roll for Home Grown Basil, my food blog, I decided to get back around to this one, you know, for everyday stuff, or stuff that's on my mind.

I wanted to blog today about Owenisms aka the things my four year old tells me that I can't believe a four year old would say. More than that, I think it's cute.

Take this one for example:

Owen: Momma, I want to be a mailman when I grow up.
Me: Why?
Owen: to make people happy when I deliver packages.
Me: that's sweet.
Owen: what does Momma want to be when she grows up?
Me: I don't know.
Owen: you should be a construction worker or a taxi driver.
Me: you think so?
Owen: yeah.
Me: I don't know.
Owen: well, do you like to build stuff? do you know how to drive a taxi?
Me: ummm...
Owen: it's easy Momma, driving a taxi is like driving a regular car, except a taxi has a siren on top so passengers know you can pick them up.

Based on this conversation, I should be a construction worker or taxi driver, when I grow up. Obviously. Where was he when I was looking at jobs 2 years ago?

As a side note: I did look at being a lyft or uber driver for a hot minute, but decided the taxi route wasn't for me.

Then we had a moment where he ran into the kitchen with a Gatorade on his head and proclaimed:

O: Hello, ma'am. What's the emergency?
Me: Nothing?
O: I'm am ambulance. Didn't you see my siren?
Me: I must have missed it.
O: Call me if you have an emergency. Menomenomenomenomeno (approximate way of spelling what an ambulance siren sounds like)

He then promptly ran back to his room.

But the best conversation of the day happened this morning when Owen asked me to make him some chicken soup because he isn't feeling well. I won't quote it, mainly because I can't remember it verbatim, but it was very sweet. He told me how it would make him better, better than any medicine could. And of course at that point, he mentioned he didn't need medicine and he'd be better in a few days.

As a kid who took medicine every 12 hours the first 14 months of his life, I don't blame him for being anti-medicine. In fact, I can't remember the last time he took medicine. Besides, there's nothing mom's soup can't help.

It's been a while: all of 2013 to be exact

That can’t really say October 12, 2012, can it?  How is it that I haven’t blogged since then?  So much has happened, so much to blog about, and nothing.

Here’s a snippet of what’s happened since then:

I was unemployed.  I’m now unemployed.
I had a bookkeeping job for about 7 months.  My boss was crazy.  I left.
All of 2013.
Kaitlyn is 15, Owen is 4.

Ok, so maybe there isn’t a whole lot to blog about.

One new thing in my life: twitter.  I have one, with no clue on how to use it.  On top of that, my daughter was showing me how to use it and I now know how my mother felt when I tried to teach her to text.  It’s like she was speaking a completely different language.  It started off well, I felt witty and relevant and that quickly dissipated.  Now I feel like I can’t post something on there without being clever.  And on most days, I’ve got nothing.

Surviving Week 1

I know what some of you must be thinking.  How hard can it be to sit around at home for a week?  For those of you, I say, pretty hard.  I’m not one to sit idly by with nothing to do.  That’s not to say that when I was working, doing nothing on a Sunday was ideal.

 My week consisted of looking for jobs on multiple websites, checking my email incessantly, making sure my cell phone was strategically placed in an area I had service at all times, feverishly awaiting the arrival of the mailman for any sort of news and of course, learning the language of the two year old.

I think I’ve realized the worst part of this whole thing is not hearing back.  I can somewhat deal with rejection, but only if I know I’m being rejected.  Where are the days of, “Thank you for applying BUT …” I mean, tell me anything: under qualified, over qualified, stupid to have applied, HAHA, anything.  Even something that says, “We filled the position, but obviously not with you.”

It’s not all doom and gloom though.  Plenty of silver linings to be had this last week as well:

My house has never been cleaner.

I don’t think my family has had this many home cooked meals, since ever.

I may start my couponing again, since I can now devote the 40 hours per week necessary to do it.

I’ve gone through every single piece of clothing I own and purged – mainly clothes that don’t fit thanks to weight loss.

I’ve spent every minute possible with my two (almost three) year old son – and I’ve realized a few things about him:

He eats a lot.  All the time.

I may have grossly underpaid my mother when she watched him.

He’s smart.

And funny.

And mischievous.

And he’s pushing boundaries, just to see what he can get away with.

He also hugs and kisses me all the time, telling me he’s “mommy’s boy.” Which melts my heart and at times is exactly what I need to hear.

I’ve also started making a list of things I need/want to do and I am excited I might have time to do them.  Things that aren’t necessarily exciting and I couldn’t be more ecstatic about it.  Sewing, trying new recipes, organizing my closets/cupboards, and dare I say it, potty training the boy!

Day 1

Day 1

Unemployment sucks.

This is the first time in 10 years that I don’t have a job.  Just another victim of a shitty economy and an employer who financially mismanaged funds for years. 

Layoffs were on the lips of many at work for months.  I knew there was a possibility I could be let go; after all, I was the last hire.  I, like many, felt that other options could be taken and that layoffs would be a last resort.  As my employer dragged its feet in doing anything to save money or raise revenues, layoffs became a reality.  My possibility of being let go went from 0 to 60 with 3 votes.  3 people, who viewed me as a name, number, as a cost savings measure. They decided that I wasn’t needed and that my livelihood was over. I doubt highly that any of them actually knew what I did and the sad part is, I don’t think they cared.  I was a damn good employee and did my job well.  That didn’t matter. 

I remember back when my mother had once told me: “Everyone is expendable and everyone is replaceable.”   Not that it makes it any easier, but she’s right.  I wanted to call my boss numerous times today to remind him of meetings or things that needed to be done, but just as they let me go, I have to let go too.

So, here I am.  At home.  Applying for jobs in an economy where no one is hiring.  Waiting.

My only comfort?  My boy.  My boy who keeps me busy, makes me laugh and gives me hugs and kisses all the time, like he knows I need them.

Now more than ever, I think I will use this blog, to have a voice, to interact with others (sort of) and free my thoughts.

When I was made aware of my layoff, I think stress, helped me lose another 5 pounds.  Not exactly healthy, but I have finally reached the weight it says on my driver’s license and I can wear clothes 3 sizes smaller than January of this year.  I think total weight lost this year has reached 27 pounds.

One of two things will happen with all of this time off: I’m going to be super fit or gain 100 pounds.  I’m hoping for the first.  However, if I continue like I did this morning (eating pizza rolls, drinking a soda and watching a lifetime movie at 10 AM), I could be in serious trouble!

 

I'm going to try not to be so emo and end with saying, a door was slammed in my face, but it opened a window and I'm just waiting for the sunlight to pour in.

Until next time!